Sooner or later it happens to everyone. “It” happened to me in 1995. The “it” was confusion, frustration, ministry burn out, and the burning question of whether my call to ministry was still valid. Once I knew in my mind, spirit, and heart that my call to ministry was still valid, I needed to explore the source(s) of the thing causing the problematic feelings. In addition to extensive daily prayer, I talked with experienced pastors and mentors. I also began working with a coach. The coaching helped me realize that the foundation of my problem was grounded in the ways I was doing ministry. What ways you ask? Well, I was very poor at self care! I was not taking vacation time, believing and acting as if I were indispensable. I didn’t honor or take a Sabbath day each week, and I did not have intentional methods or techniques of releasing stress. I was treating ministry as a vocation that demanded a life of anxiously rushing from one task to the next. I also needed a thorough medical checkup, which revealed that I have both sleep apnea and insomnia. In short, I have trouble falling asleep & trouble remaining asleep. My body tries to wake up 47 times per hour. I’ve heard from some folks who have a much higher level of insomnia wake cycles. By the grace of God I found a Neurologist who taught me great sleep techniques.
So, I began attending to and implementing new self care measures that I still practice without fail.
- I started taking a Sabbath day. On my Sabbath day, ministry tasks happened only in extreme emergencies.
- My wife and I began scheduling our vacations a full year in advance. We found that even in the case of funerals, members understood the need for vacation. The church never asked us to cancel our vacations, especially because no one wanted to cover the flight, lodging, and other cancellation fees.
- I began taking a quarterly three to four Prayer & Study Leave. The goals of the study leave included prayer, exercise, rest, worship planning, and ministry visioning. My Study Leaves nicely met the United Methodist self-care and Continuing Education expectations. In my return from each study leave, my work and plans were shared with everyone. Small groups, worship teams, music ministries, and other groups began to incorporate my plans into their weekly or monthly focus. I want to emphasize that the study leaves were not a vacation. Each time away enabled me to pray, rest, exercise, and work in a very relaxed environment. Speaking with vulnerability and honesty, exercise became critical because my body weight exceeded 400 pounds.
- I also discovered a real need for hobbies. I needed things to do in my free time that I would enjoy. I needed to be intentional about Sabbath day play time activities.
- I needed to spend more time with friends. I made a list of colleagues I wanted to spend time with and contacted them to schedule time together. Since 1996, we have continued to have meals together, social visits, casual walks, and other activities.
In short, my issues were hurting my personal life, my professional life, and ministry.
Thanks for reading today’s blog!
